If you ever dream of being with a man, who is powerful and strong, the one that you can count on to move mountains for you, maybe even bring the world at your feet… then read on… this is not a myth, or an impossible dream… men are naturally wired to bring us what we need… if only we let them and get out of the way.
The Western world has evolved through a rapid socio-economic growth since WWII, and in the past 70 years we have witnessed the masculinization of women along with the feminization of men. Masculine energy is required for us to make decisions, execute plans, follow through on commitments; it is the energy that is purposeful and direct. Often expressed through aggression, something we call ambition in the business world, masculine energy is responsible for results, and it grows through challenge. As women face and overcome more and more challenges, they grow more confident in their ability to make decisions, produce results, set goals and achieve success – which naturally results in getting stronger in their masculine essence. That’s all great and very much needed in today’s society in order to succeed, or even survive.
Women who spend most of their time in a “masculine mode” tend to be go-getters, more independent, build a strong back-bone and, in general, are considered “successful” in the masculine-oriented Western world. The challenge is that as we focus all of our time and energy on growing stronger in a masculine way… we often unconsciously weaken our relationship with the natural Feminine side, which is at the essence of each and every woman. What’s even worse, we make our Feminine side wrong, and we pride ourselves in being tough and insensitive, we pretend that we are fine and we don’t need a family, or even a relationship with a man, we get busy… but deep inside, there is an empty space and a deep longing for intimacy and love… a voice that we try to shut, as we bury ourselves with work… and ultimately… YES… SUCCESS.
Why is it so hard for successful, independent women to meet strong powerful men… or even fall in love? Well, the answer may surprise you, and maybe even bother you a bit, but chances are that your SUCCESS is getting in the way of attracting the kind of men that you want.
Wait a minute… Success is supposed to be a “good thing”, right? Wouldn’t men like you better and be more attracted to you, if you were more powerful, independent and successful? Doesn’t that make you a “good catch”?
Well, NOT exactly.
The challenge lies in assuming that men and women are the same, and that men are attracted to the same qualities that we find attractive in men – charisma, strength, strong sense of direction and purpose, ability to produce results and success. While men value success in a woman, it is not exactly the quality that turns them on. Attraction is triggered by polarity (Feminine/Masculine polarity) and the stronger your Masculine side is, the less interesting you are, at least to a man with the same strong masculine qualities like you. He may enjoy an intelligent conversation with you, or even a healthy competition… but there is no pull… therefore, he is not attracted to you and wouldn’t see you as a long-term relationship potential. It has nothing to do with beauty, or even sex appeal. It’s an energy that creates a feeling. And as much as we would like to think that men have no feelings, research shows that men are very intuitive when selecting a mate, and will know within seconds of meeting you, if you are a potentially a relationship material, a sexual object, or just a friend.
If this makes you upset, please consider… attraction is not a choice… it’s either there, or not. The good news is that you can trigger attraction in a split second. How? Well, by shifting into your Feminine essence. You evoke a man’s most powerful Masculine self, when you shift into your most Feminine vulnerable self… and that’s instant attraction … it creates vacuum in the space. The real challenge is that “shifting out of a Masculine mode” may be hard for you to do, if you are used to being powerful, independent and strong… values that seem to be looked upon in the Western world.
What does that have to do with relationships? Well… a lot.
Masculine Men are NOT attracted to Masculine Women. Period. It’s not an opinion… it’s a FACT. It’s a call of nature. Attraction works as a magnet – the two opposites attract. As women grow more powerful in a Masculine way, they tend to attract the more Feminine type of Men – the ones who have hard time making a decision, have no clear sense of direction and purpose, can’t speak up their mind, the “yes, dear” type of men… you get the picture.
Why is this a challenge? Well, it’s only a challenge if you prefer the Masculine type of men, the ones who are on top of their game, are able to move mountains, and can be a pillar of strength for you to relax with. This type of men will not be attracted to your success, independence and power; as a matter of fact, the more you express Masculine type of qualities, the higher the likelihood that a Masculine man will be repelled, as opposed to being attracted, by you. If you are experiencing frustration with the type of men that you attract… here is some food for thought:
As you become more and more Successful and strong in expressing masculine qualities, chances are you make these 3 critical mistakes with men:
Mistake #1: Not appreciating him
As we become stronger and more powerful, it becomes harder for us to appreciate men, and the gifts that they bring to us. It is only natural, if we are able to accomplish what men can, we don’t see them as a pillar of strength and support anymore. We don’t trust their masculinity, we don’t trust their natural ability to provide for us and to protect us… we step in and try to do the job ourselves.
While we are capable of “doing the job”, the question is – should we? Men have many gifts to give to the world. They protect, they lead with direction, they take care of the hardships of life, which allows us to feel feminine and relax. Men feel good, when we allow them to be our “heroes”. What we fail to understand in the Western world is that men have innate need and desire to go out and hunt, men have the DNA of a hunter, and with that comes the instinct to provide and protect for a female and for their family. However, what a “hunter” needs in order to thrive is… appreciation. Appreciating his effort literally fuels a man and inspires him to go out again and again, and hunt some more. Lack of appreciation has just the opposite effect, and it kills his desire to do anything for us.
If appreciation is not something you know how to do well, we encourage you to start right now… start small, learn to appreciate even the little things that men do… take out the garbage, make sure your car is safe, etc… we promise you that the man in your life will feel inspired to move mountains for you.
Mistake #2: Stepping in and taking on a masculine role
If you are used to making decisions all day long, solving problems and dealing with challenges, it’s only natural that you may take these qualities into your intimate relationship. Chances are that you step in and take charge a little too quick. Especially, if he isn’t making strong decisions, or the kind of decisions that serve you, or the relationship as a whole.
Please, resist the temptation. It leaves him feeling emasculated and you overburdened. Instead, learn how to cultivate your Feminine essence and inspire him to make better decisions. You can also help a man feel more powerful in his Masculine self by trusting his direction and purpose and showing faith in his ability to make things happen and produce results.
Furthermore, as we step in and try to do everything ourselves, we leave men feeling unappreciated and powerless. We literally emasculate the very man inside.
We promise you more depth and connection in your personal relationships, if you resist the temptation to emasculate him, and prove yourself to be a “better man”.
Mistake #3: Not understanding and appreciating your Feminine essence
This is a tough one, and the very one that makes you feel you need to prove yourself strong and masculine, in order to be respected and loved. What makes this mistake easy to make is that in the Western world, we are conditioned to value Masculine qualities… determination, fearlessness, etc. This conditioning is so strong, to a point that we make our Feminine qualities wrong – being sensitive, caring, and free-spirited is not looked upon as a good role model for success.
Yet, these are the very qualities that will attract to you the mate that you are yearning for… a man who is already strong, powerful and successful himself is not looking for a woman to match him. What this type of man needs is a woman to inspire him out of his head and bring him closer to his heart, a woman who trusts his ability to make things happen, believes in him and, even when he is down on his knees, will have a way to inspire him back on his feet.
If you allow your Feminine essence to weaken in your search for success and power, it will be impossible to create the vacuum that a Masculine man needs in order to be attracted by you. Remember, attraction is a magnetic pull, and not a choice. Being happy and content with your Feminine self is the key to attracting a man, who has the strength and charisma to appreciate you and fall in love with you.
Massimo and Daniela are the creators of “Wines and Castles – The Perfect Blend for Couples” – exotic vacations for couples who wish to experience the beauty and extravagance of the noble lifestyle, while creating deeper bond in their relationship. Occasionally, Daniela and Massimo offer trips for Single Successful women, looking for a week away to pamper their spirit and learn to attract the man that they desire. Visit www.theperfectblendforcouples.com for information on upcoming events and to book your spot.